Funny Things People Say and Do During Conference Calls

Photo Credit (Freepik)

With workers dispersed across the nation, conference calls offer a far more affordable and secure way for teams to get together, have a conversation, and move the business ahead.

As is always the case with large social gatherings, there will be moments of humor.

You’ll laugh out loud just reading some of these amusing and awkward conference call scenarios that are compiled here. Others, however, require you to be present in order to understand what is genuinely happening in that kind of circumstance.

THE DRIVER, LINDA

You may be forced by circumstances to participate in a conference call from the driver’s seat of your car, which is an unexpected location.

Linda during a conference call

You’re speeding through traffic, braking for red lights, pulling over at intersections, dodging potholes here and there, and all the while trying to keep your coffee balanced in the cupholder when this careless driver suddenly cuts in front of you. You brake quickly enough to avoid an accident, but not before the coffee spills all over your clothes and the inside of your car.

You reflexively begin cursing him out, and it takes a few hurtful words for you to stop yourself. Everyone on the call is silent at this time, wondering who you are cursing.

Finally gaining control over yourself, you say, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry; I was conversing with someone else in here. Therefore, Mark, will you kindly proceed with sharing the numbers you were sharing?

Mark will undoubtedly go on, but only once everyone has laughed heartily.

JOE’S RESTROOM

We are constantly forced to respond when nature calls.

Joe during a conference

A business analyst on WSO describes how, while waiting for more people to join the meeting, he and his colleague, Steve, decide to go for a walk. Not wanting to miss the call, he puts on his headset and leaves the desk, most likely to get coffee or just to stretch his legs since the call was going to be lengthy.

After he flushes, you can hear water splashing everywhere, and a few minutes later, Steve starts making those distinctive grunting noises that we are all familiar with (he neglected to put his call on mute). It turned out that he had roughly twenty individuals listening to him do business.

“Is everything okay?” inquired one of the attendees. Right before everybody started laughing.

THE LATECOMER, ROSE

As you might expect, just as the meeting is about to come to an end, the boss is reminding Susan to send out an email to each member outlining all of the resolutions from the meeting. He is also thanking everyone for coming, when all of a sudden, Rose arrives and introduces herself as “Hey everyone, Rose here from accounting.” It could be hard not to chuckle if you were in this meeting.

ASHLEY—THE TALKER OF TRASH

Occasionally, during a conference call, someone or people forget to mute their call. As a result, they speak things out that they didn’t intend to say or that they didn’t want other people to hear.

Ashley during a conversation on the phone

Some may even pick up the phone to continue chatting with a coworker. Imagine Nicole, who is also taking part in the conference call, being the target of backbiting from Sally and a colleague.

Sally enters the conference call meeting and proceeds to talk incoherently about how Nicole from cubicle X snores like a horse when she naps, forgetting to press the mute button.

Alternatively stated, “the other party was 10 minutes late to the call,” to which my colleague replies, “Where the hell are these guys?” Suddenly, you hear, “We’re here.” A scarlet flush spreads across the face as everyone laughs. Fantastic beginning to the call.

This hilarious statement from a forum member goes like this: “The company was shit-talking us in a foreign language.” I am conversant in that strange language. They sincerely apologized and said they would take me out to supper. I turned it down.

This one is hard not to chuckle at.

THE JAMES MULTITASKING

The top distractions during a conference call, according to a poll conducted by Chicago-based conference call company InterCall among over 530 respondents, are as follows.

Other tasks: 65%

Emailing someone: 63%

Consuming or preparing food: 55%

Using the bathroom: 47%

Texting: 44%

43% of people check social media.

25% of people play video games.

21 percent of consumers purchase online

It makes sense that some people might try to multitask while on a call because sometimes these conversations go on for a very long time.

Still humorous, though, are typing noises that sound like they might have been created with a hammer, or like someone filing their nails.

DYNA, THE WRONG DRESSER

Ever had the thinking, “I don’t need to wear pants, the camera won’t see my legs,” just before jumping into a video conference call? You’re not alone; in fact, I’m not the only one who does it, especially when I work from home.

Indeed, one of the InterCall survey participants mentioned that they had participated in a conference call while at the beach. “I kept my laptop up so that my bikini didn’t show because it was a video call.”

But this is when things become a little hazy. Have you ever thought about the likelihood that your two-year-old may open the door and enter your workspace with the distinct majesty that only children possess? He will then likely begin removing books from the shelves, yanking wires from power sockets, and generally causing chaos around the space.

It’s evident to everybody that he is causing a lot of noise and messing up your workspace. Even though you’re obviously distracted, you can still stand up and walk him outside because—wait—you don’t wear pants.

You will therefore need to wait till your spouse discovers his absence and goes in search of him.